Brock Coopers Top 10 Zombie Movies

There are literally hundreds, if not thousands, of zombie movies that have been created through the decades. They range from the truly horrifying like the Romero classics to the satirical and at times farcical Return of the Living Dead movies.

In an effort to let my millions … dozens … alright, three adoring fans – thanks for the support mom — a glimpse into the psychosis ridden wonderland that is my mind, I am giving you my list of the 10 best zombie movies that have ever graced the VHS or DVD rack of my favorite discount store.

10. Resident Evil: There are several reasons why this made the list including Milla Jovovich naked, but this was the first real action zombie movie I had ever seen. It had great special effects, lots of guns, and did I mention Milla Jovovich naked. I was a huge fan of the videogame and to see it in real life was awesome. I am so happy they didn’t go the way of House of the Dead and Doom and try to incorporate the video game view point. Oh yeah, and there was Milla Jovovich naked.

9. House of the Dead: This is one of those guilty pleasures that you hate admitting to, but since I am putting all of my cards out on the table, I do own a copy and enjoy House of the Dead. Jurgen Prochnow was amazing as the grizzled sea captain, shipping the young nubile main characters to an island for a big rave. Erica Durance (Lois in Smallville) naked on the beach. Really, there isn’t much bad about this movie accept for the acting and sheer ridiculousness of the plot. I thought the scene where they basically recreated the video game was cool and I could watch it over and over again – and have.

8. Zombieland – This is really an amazing film that really concentrated on developing the characters and not just survival horror. I thought Woody Harrelson’s acting and character was amazing and the elements of humor just catapulted it to one of my favorites. Columbus’ first interaction with his hot neighbor, the whole Bill Murray scenario and the Twinkie obsession had me rolling with laughter. You can’t take this seriously as a “scary” movie, but it definitely is one of the more memorable zombie satires I have seen.

7. Diary of the Dead: You can’t have a zombie movie list without a couple of Romero movies otherwise it is legal to be drawn and quartered on the front steps of your home. It’s true, go check. Diary of the Dead had a unique guerilla documentary style about it and showed that George had not lost his stuff despite the horrendous Land of the Dead. That movie was so bad I wanted to jump into the giant lake with the zombies.

6. Masters of Horror: Dance of the Dead: While not technically a zombie “movie,” Dance of the Dead was part of the first season of the Masters of Horror series that was on Showtime. Everyone’s favorite over-actor, Robert Englund, starred as a night club owner that specialized in reanimated female corpses that “danced” when shocked with cattle prods. It was a sexy and yet visually disturbing look at the fall of this society where this was considered entertainment. Of all the Masters of Horror shows, this one is by far my favorite.

5. Dead and Breakfast: A group of young adults, I would say Jeremy Sisto was the oldest and didn’t really fit in – are traveling by camper to a friend’s wedding, when they get lost and end up staying the night as this Bed and Breakfast run by the late David Carradine and Diedrich Bader (Drew Carey Show). Long story short … too late … evil spirit escapes and starts making zombies of the townspeople. The best part of this movie is the musical group Zachariah, a mix of country and hip hop. The group provides musical commentary throughout the movie even in their zombified state. It includes the entire zombie cast recreating the dance from “Thriller.”

4. Flight of the Living Dead: The corpse of a scientist’s wife who was exposed to a zombie virus is stowed away in the bowels of a commercial plane. Needless to say, wifey gets out and begins eating people and turning them into zombies. I hate these mother @$#^@% zombies on this mother $#$@^# plane. The remaining passengers are trapped on this tin can surrounded by zombies. Why is this on the list: most different ways of using luggage as a barricade. Zombies can bite through flesh without a problem, but put a Samsonite in front of them and it becomes like kryptonite. This film is too funny not to be on here.

3. Return of the Living Dead: What is there to say about this classic comedic zombie movie that hasn’t already been said a hundred times? Trash getting naked, send more paramedics, the pain of being dead, there are so many amazingly funny and cheesy moments in this movie that it has become a classic in every way. Sadly, its sequels, I think the last was Return of the Living Dead 45: We Can’t Think of a Title, leaves something to be desired. You had me for the first three, but it went all downhill from there.

2. Dawn of the Dead (Classic): This movie was what started me on my path to zombie addiction and not in a good way. I saw this when I was 4-years-old and it scared the living crap out of me. I was terrified of zombies and whenever I was stressed or exhausted, I would have dreams about zombies. As I got older, I began to love horror movies except for zombies. Finally, I decided to try immersion therapy and watched every zombie film I could and eventually I became … obsessed is a strong word, correct, but strong … enticed by zombies. The Dawn of the Dead remake doesn’t faze me at all, but you pop in the classic and I will still get a shiver down my spine. Maybe I need therapy?

1. Dead Alive: Before Peter Jackson was directing orcs and elves, he was telling the living dead what to do in this kiwi classic. As the story goes, rats from a sinking ship fled to a remote island where they raped monkeys and the elusive Rat Monkey was born. The local zoo has one of these rare creatures and it bites poor Lionel Cosgrove’s controlling mother as she follows him and his girlfriend. The bite turns his mother into a zombie and Lionel doesn’t have the heart to kill her so he locks her in the basement. Soon, Lionel has a bevy of zombies in the basement and he is forced to confront them and his undead mother.  Why I love this movie? Two words: Rat Monkey.

There are of course many others that I could list like CHUD II Bud the Chud, Fido, Zombie Honeymoon, etc, but these gems are the ones that make my little undead heart sing.